Friday, June 27, 2008

Sagely Wisdom from a Fat Man

I've added a slide show to the right of this post, a permanent fixture on this site. The images pictured are all available as a gallery at:

http://picasaweb.google.com/shirtlessmikes


We've had a great week as a team. We've had numerous post-competition discussions on how to improve our performance for next year and Matt has offered to ship us sauce samples down from NYC so that we can finally develop a competition-worthy concoction.

I've received pictures from a whole host of friends who came out to see us last weekend and I will be adding to and updating the google album, linked above, as more pics come in.

As we take a weekend off from 'que'ing, I'll leave you with this gem from the great philosopher Homer (as in Simpson, not that dead Greek guy)--

"We're not here for the game. The game is nothing. The game is crap. The game makes me sick! The real reason we Americans put up with sports is for this... Behold! The Tailgate Party! The pinnacle of human achievement! Since the dawn of parking lots, man has sought to stuff his guts with food and alcohol in anticipation of watching others exercise. What childbirth is to women, eating trunk meats is to the bewanged. What could be better than eating and drinking for hours in a drizzly parking lot?"

Thursday, June 26, 2008

What's in a name? That which we call a pig
By any other name would smell as sweet.


Disney has Mickey Mouse.

McDonald's has Ronald.

Aflac has the duck.

Shirtless Mike's BBQ has its own furry mascot, Shirtless Mike (pictured above with the Hogettes).

Anyone who has spent more than 20 minutes with me knows full well the size of my ego and my lifetime love-affair with self promotion. After two full days of traipsing around Pennsylvania Avenue with my shirtless visage plastered on my back, I decided to use the window between the judging and the awards ceremony to let it all hang out.

At some point on Sunday afternoon, I think I lost my mind.

I spent a good hour taking pictures with tourists, other competitors and my fellow teammates in full Shirtless Mike regalia (apron, aviators and the obligatory stoggie) . There are many wonderful pictures of this slightly shameful period in my weekend, a few of which will make it in this space in the days ahead.

There are also many wonderful pictures captured on the cameras, cell phones and seared into the retinas of tourists throughout the country.

I am a fat, hairy, not particularly photogenic man.

Why you would want a picture of me with your children is a question I will be asking myself for the rest of my life.

To those of you who had the misfortune of capturing our furry mascot on film, I offer my deepest condolences.

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If you do have any memorable pics of the event, of me (shirtless or shirted), or of anything else you would like to share, please feel free to email them to us at shirtlessmikes@gmail.com.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Pig Pickin' PR: A PIGtorial (I'm so clever)


Thanks to the intrepid photographer (and our friend) Lexie Moreland for coming out to the Barbecue Battle and doing what she does best. To see some of Lexie's bbq battle photos and read her reflection on the whole thing, check out her article at Brightest Young Things--

http://www.brightestyoungthings.com/food/bbq-tips/

Part of managing a competitive barbecue team is managing publicity. We've worked hard to get Shirtless Mike's some exposure (pardon the pun). Many thanks to Roberta Vanderslice, the publicity manger of the Barbecue Battle, for all of her hard work and for placing us in a couple of widely read publications.

The Capitol Hill daily newspaper Roll Call, featured this piece about the barbecue battle from a legislative angle--

One Washington Battle That's All in Good Taste


Additionally, we had the good fortune of crossing paths with Ross Todd, a reporter from The American Lawyer, when he wrote a brief post about The Yummy Animals for the AmLaw Daily Blog.

After talking to Ross in the weeks leading up to the competition, The American Lawyer paid to send Ross down from New York to cover Shirtless Mike's and The Yummy Animals as we competed over the weekend.

Check back in this space in a couple of weeks to see Ross's piece on the BBQ Battle from a lawyer's perspective.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Our Newest Teammate


I just wanted to throw up a quick post to introduce Matt Gruder, professional beer salesman, student at the French Culinary Institute in NYC and the newest member of Shirtless Mike's Barbecue.

Matt came down from NYC on Friday night to provide a steady, seasoned hand while Adam traveled back from Italy. He provided so much more (not the least of which was the inspiration behind Chris's disastrous "I can drink 30 beers in 24 hours" bet) and left a full-fledged competitive 'que'er (as in barbecue'er, not queer).

Next year's competition will feature the barbecue stylings of a veteran four-man team that is much much better for the wear.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Don't Forget to Wrap It Up

I have to work tomorrow morning and I'm completely exhausted, so this will have to suffice as a wrap-up post.

The debut of Shirtless Mike's BBQ on the competitive barbecue circuit has been a resounding success. We've learned more about the mechanics and logistics of competitive barbecue than I could have imagined.

I've made new friends and found a host of gifted, ingenious cooks willing to offer a helpful word or lend a helping hand.

Shirtless Mike's BBQ failed to take home any awards in its inaugural contest, but we have taken away something much greater-- the foundation of a team deeply committed to future success and an increased confidence in our own abilities to really cook.

To all who helped in any way, thank you. From watching our booth, to going on a beer run, to kindly, gently and reassuringly explaining to Chris that no matter how much he may think "she's asking for it," it's not ok to hurl meat/beer/garbage/insults at overweight members of the opposite sex, you have all made this weekend unforgettable.

Judge Me Live But Don't Judge My Life

2:30PM-- We're through the live judging and we hit all the big points.

It turns out that talking about barbecue with a professional is a whole hell of a lot fun.

Thanks again to all of the family and friends who have poured through our booth in the past two days and to those of you stuck at work this weekend who have been hanging on my every post.

The results will be announced tonight at 630 or 700. We've received both praise and very constructive critique throughout the competition-- both from judges and our competitors.

I've viewed this event as an educational exercise from the start and it's exceeded even my wildest expectations.

Adam, Chris, Matt and I will be competing again next year and we've pledged to commit any prize money to the future of the team.

Check back for updates as the contest winds down and for pictures from the event, links to press coverage and some final reflection throughout the coming days.

I have a good feeling that Shirtless Mike's BBQ is going to be around for a long long time.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Tanning with Shirtless Mike's

9:12am-- Unquestionably, the best part of competitive bbq is the proximity we share to decades of 'que'n expertise. Last night we had the opportunity to watch a fellow competition team, 3Bs from good ole Bal'mer, prep and start a hog on a beautiful custom trailer/smoker (est. retail price-- 45k).

Bartholomew, the hog, spent the night smoking over a bed of coals and, judging by the look of him this morning, had the hue of a long island girl who spent the friday before spring break in a tanning bed and accidentally dozed off.

Whole hog is a feat of barbecue mastery I've always found intimidating. Thanks to some great advice and a long "how to" session, it feels a little less so.

I came here to learn, but I had no idea the intensity of the learning process and the value of simple instruction from a seasoned vet.

One day soon, Bartholomew's cousin Chester will be tanning with Shirtless Mikes.
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That's Some Pig

7:11am-- my blackberry connection went down for a little while last night, but it's back again.

The delirium from last night's exhaustion has been replaced by the mania of another day of competition. Our pork is due to the judges tent by noon today. One shoulder, the one we'll likely pull and submit first, is about to be removed from the flames and wrapped in aluminum foil to hold for the remainder of the morning.

The other needs a bit more time.

We're up cleaning our site and setting up a table for the judges. In yesterday's Kansas City Barbecue Society (KCBS) contest, the judging was blind so we could afford to keep our site a little disorganized.

Today's Memphis in May (MIM) contest includes an on-site tasting by three judges, each at separate times throughout the afternoon.

As a footnote, our fantastic butcher and team sponsor, "Let's Meat on the Avenue" of Alexandria, VA, provided us with pork that should be the envy of the rest of the field. Our two full shoulders (52lbs of pork!) came from Petunia the Pig, slaughtered this week in a farm in Faquier County VA, delivered to out Butcher on Thursday, placed on our smoker covered in rub yesterday and served to our MIM judging panel 22 hours later.

Petunia, you've done us proud.

To quote EB White "That's some pig."
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I'm gonna barbecue in the morning. I'm gonna barbecue at night. And I won't stop this barbecue baby, cause this way everything's alright.

1:24am-- Chris finally called it quits. Adam returned from Italy. Matt and I are hanging in.

I've been running on 3 hours sleep and I'm fading.

Our pork is coming along. Our earlier difficulty maintaining temperature consistency appears to be a thing of the past. I'm pretty sure a dawn goal is realistic.

The smell here is intoxicating. I'm still hungry despite the huge quantity I've consumed so far. Sunday will be a great day too.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Saturday, June 21, 2008

The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful

9:55pm-- So we've managed to avoid rain this far in the evening. There is lightning on the horizon.

The event is closed to the public and we've packed up most of our gear in preparation for the coming storm.

We're drinking beers and feeding the smoker, trying to keep the temp up on the. bbq. We've got our pork up to 150 degrees and we're keeping the grill at a steady 220.

Once the internal temp hits 180, we're good to pull the pork off of the heat. I imagine we'll hit that point shortly after dawn.

Its gonna be a long long night, but a whole hell of a lot of fun.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

I get by with a little help from my friends...

4:45pm-- Our chicken is now off the smoker, honey glazed and awaiting carving for presentation.

While smokin pork, glazing chicken and promoting the hell out of shirtless mike's 'que, we've managed to host a dozen or so of our friends who came out to support us.

All told, its been a hell of a day and we're not even halfway there.

In other news, chris is on his sixteenth beer, has harassed a fire marshall and been told repeatedly to keep both his shirt and pants on.

He also took a little nap.


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Of Vice and Hen

12:36PM-- This might be the most fun I've ever had. I'm a changed man.

We've brined, prepped and dry rubbed the chickens. The grills are smokin up a storm.

Chris is heckling children and trading our bratwurst to the staff at the Heineken booth for free beers.

"This man is the mayor of bbq-town"

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Day Drinking isn't only for Fratboys, Winos and the Irish anymore

10:47am-- Chris Toepp, Esq, attorney at law and shirtless mike's equipment manager exraordinarre, is now on his 8th beer.

"I'm.only wearing a shirt because the guy in the golf cart told me it's a health code violation to take it off."
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Cook's Meeting-- Part Three

9:08am-- We were just warned not to give the judges alcohol.

I would love to meet the man that forced them to make that rule.

Wow.

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Cook's Meeting-- continued

8:57am-- We're approaching the hour mark and this is becoming increasingly less comical.

Our contest coordinator is out of breath.

Everyone is engaged in side conversations of their own.

If competitive barbecue is a marathon, this cooks meeting feels like I'm standing at the starting line watching the guy with the starting pistol pound beers and flirt with the runners. Just fire the damn gun already.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Cook's Meeting

8:25-- We are on minute 22 of the alcohol warning. The contest coordinator, who "likes to drink some beers at these things," explained that the DCPD will send minors to solicit beer from teams.

Then he described the atire of the 17-year old girls who will be working under cover.

It lasted five minutes.

This is quickly devolving into Blue Collar Comedy Tour-meets- Penthouse Forum. Somewhere, Ron White is smiling.
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One Big Fat Load-In

8:00AM-- We've unloaded the car and truck, the grills are up and Chris is on his first beer of the day.

I'm on my way to the Cook's meeting and we'll be smokin soon.

Stay tuned for posts and pics throughout the day...
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The Best Part of Waking Up...

5:30AM-- I'm running on about three hours of sleep, I've showered and changed and I'm heading back to the BBQ Battle. All of our equipment and supplies have spent the night on the street and I'm rested and ready to compete.

Our fourth teammeate for this weekend, Matt, got in from New York City at just after 11PM last night. Matt is in his first year at the French Culinary Institute and should provide a steady hand and some much needed discipline to today's and tomorrow's efforts.

After spending two hours checking in and setting up last night, I have a serious case of grill-penis-envy. We are set up next to a trailer/smoker/kitchen rig that does catering events throughout the Baltimore/Washington Area (picture to follow). If this is any indication of what's in store for us, this should be quite a humbling experience.

To say I'm excited doesn't begin to cover the range of emotions going through my body. I'm half-asleep, but I'm manic. Months of practice and planning will be put to the test. Three and half hours separate us from the official start time and I'm jittery. I'm elated and a little bit exhausted. What a weekend.

Monday, June 16, 2008

The Main Event



Adam, Chris and I will be competing in our first barbecue competition this weekend (June 21-22) on Pennsylvania Avenue in downtown DC.

Shirtless Mike's BBQ will be entering the BBQ Chicken, Pork Shoulder and Sauce contests and we hope that you can come cheer us on! Our team will be firing up our smokers on Saturday morning and will keep them fired up for two full days.

The event is open to the public from 11:00AM-9:00PM on Saturday and 11:00AM-7:30PM on Sunday. Tickets are ten bucks and a portion of the proceeds go to the Boys and Girls Clubs of Greater Washington

If you can't join us, but still want in on the fun, I will be live-blogging the whole event right here, at the Shirtless Mike's BBQ Blog.

For more information on our food, our team or the competition, check out some of my previous posts.

The DC BBQ Battle is one of the largest street festivals of the summer, featuring two stages of live music, over 30 bands and every type of BBQ you can imagine.

The event will feature teams from all over the country competing for over $40,000 in cash and prizes.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

The Accident

Forming Shirtless Mike's BBQ has been one of the most rewarding experiences of our lives. Adam, Chris and I have spent hours practicing and preparing and, come the end of this month, will have our first competition under our belts.

We hope this is just one of many.

We all had reservations-- time constraints, family obligations and logistical barriers, among others-- that had initially made us hesitant to seriously embrace such a time-consuming hobby.

It took a near-tragedy to push us to this point, a subject I wasn't initially inclined to introduce in this blog.

However, the more I reflect on what almost was, the more I realize how important it is for me to include this element of our story.

As I've mentioned in prior posts, Chris and I were roommates in Law School. As 3Ls, we shared a house that had a half-acre back yard with two other third-year students.

We realized that since we all intended to move back up to the DC area, this was likely our last opportunity to really enjoy having that much space to ourselves. I bought my first smoker and we spent the year feeding our friends and taking full advantage of the space and pace of life that Williamsburg offered.

Following law school graduation last May, Chris served as a post-graduate fellow with the Commonwealth Attorney's Office in Alexandria, VA. After his fellowship ended, he was hired to serve as an Assistant CA in Richmond.

A week prior to his first day of work, Chris was nearly killed in a car accident in Georgia while traveling from Miami to Tennessee to visit his in-laws. Driving a rental car, Chris and his wife were hit by a tractor-trailer. The driver's side door was the point of impact. His wife, riding in the passenger seat, suffered four broken ribs.

Chris wasn't so lucky.

His injuries were extensive-- broken ribs, two punctured and collapsed lungs, severe internal bleeding and bleeding on his brain, to name a few. He spent the end of December and part of January in a Coma in a Macon, Georgia ICU and, but for the work of an outstanding surgeon who happened to be back in Macon visiting family for Christmas, would likely never have pulled through.

Chris, a Division 1 swimmer in his college days, fought hard, woke up from his coma and began an intense rehabilitation routine that enabled his return to the courtroom a mere 10 weeks later, albeit with a special exception from the judge to allow him to remain seated while delivering arguments.

He won his first felony trial shortly thereafter.

While we were roommates, we often talked about competitive barbecue. We joked about entering the DC Barbecue Battle this summer, but initially dismissed the idea as we each pursued demanding careers.

Our friend and future teammate Adam, the owner of a property management company and a government official in Southern MD, had entered culinary school around the time of Chris's accident and, one day in February shortly after Chris's return from the hospital, accompanied me to visit Chris and his wife at their Alexandria, VA apartment.

Suddenly, our reservations didn't seem so pressing. We decided that Chris's remarkable recuperation, by then he was walking on his own and expected to make a full recovery, was enough of an incentive to take the plunge this summer.

A few weeks later, we sent in our check and Shirtless Mike's BBQ was born.